Living with PCOS.

At 32 years old, I now have a little more than ten years of experience with the effects that PCOS has had on my body over the years. The info-graphic here shows the many symptoms that affect women with PCOS but I will just list the few main ones that affect me on a daily basis. Other symptoms seem to crop up only now and then, like acne and hair loss.

1. Brain Fog.

Every. Single. Day. I wake up with Brain Fog. Ever feel like you have forgotten to do something but just can't remember what? Like you've just gone blank? That's what brain fog feels like to me. It makes me want to go out and grab myself a HUGE mug of black coffee just to get through the day. I haven't had a single cup of coffee since I found out I was pregnant in November 2018 and please refrain from suggesting Decaf options to me because Decaf is not REAL coffee. It won't lift the brain fog and make me feel like less of a Zombie the way CAFFEINE can only achieve, but I guess it's a good thing that I have not had any coffee for a whole year, probably better for me and baby in the long run anyway.

2. Food.

Again, as soon as I wake up, I am starving. More so now that I am breastfeeding. All I know is that because I am insulin resistant, I feel like I need to be constantly eating something sweet. ALL. THE. TIME. Sugar is my drug. I am addicted to it. I will explain Insulin Resistance in my next post, but it generally means that my body can not process sugar effectively, which leads to weight gain. Actually, it's not just sugar, my body can not process most foods that cause my Insulin to spike. I have to eat a gluten free, carbohydrate free, sugar free diet. How Boring. Where's the fun in that? What can I say, I LOVE food, I really do, so being on a restrictive diet can be so depressing at times and no one can really sustain a diet like that when hormones are involved.

3. Pain and Inflammation.

I have had this problem since I was 18, it was almost like a big shift in my body at the time and looking back, I wish I had known what was causing the trouble. My body, on a daily basis is in pain. Constant, sometimes agonizing pain that I fight through. Sure, I can take painkillers and anti-inflammatory medicines that can help with that, but then daily self medication is not something I want to do for the rest of my life. Being a Pharmacist I have access to some pretty strong painkillers, but I do not want to go down that slippery slope that may lead to an addiction to pain relievers. I have only just figured out what kind of diet helps and that Yoga is the only way to relieve these issues. However, I still have a little one to feed so diets are out of the question right now.

4. Weight Gain and Obesity.

I am Overweight. I know I am and I certainly do not need you to tell me that I am.

I have heard so many different things from so many people about what I should do to lose the weight.

“At least 30 minutes of Exercise everyday.”

"HIIT exercise is the best"

"Have you tried swimming?"

"I think you just don't know when to stop eating"

"Maybe you should start running"

"You're not doing it right, exercise is the only way to lose weight."

"Have you tried Metabolic Balance?"

I could go on and on about all the suggestions I have heard, but it comes down to this:

Most people are mean and thoughtless. They say horrible things about me being overweight to my face.

My PCOS makes it EXTREMELY hard to lose weight, no matter how much I exercise. I say MY PCOS because there are many women out there where exercise works almost immediately but my body sometimes can reject an exercise routine within a couple of weeks, causing it to shut down completely, which then forces me to stop the routine altogether in order to heal. By then I am right back where I started. All I am saying is, next time you feel the need to blatantly tell someone they are overweight and should do something about it, take a moment to stop and reflect that maybe that person is doing the best that they can. But, if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

5. Anxiety.

I suffer from really bad anxiety, all the time. Any new situation makes my anxiety worse. I once had someone close say to me in surprise that they had no idea because I hide it so well. She always thought I was extroverted and confident, which I am, but you wouldn't think someone who seems so confident at times has so much worry and anxiety just beneath the surface.

The feeling is always there, a ball of electricity in the pit of my stomach that puts me on high alert about everything. It makes it difficult to carry on and have a normal day, because all the anxiety does is take me to a place where negativity resides. I have to fight to stay positive. My loved ones are always reminding me to think positive and positive things will happen. This is very difficult to do when you have anxiety looming over you like a dark, grey cloud ready to burst and shower you with freezing cold rain of negativity at any point and time. People need to realise that mental health issues like depression and anxiety can't be switched off. Just because I am in a situation that doesn't warrant anxiety for any other person does not mean that I can simply decide to not be anxious, because you think I shouldn't be. It doesn't work like that!

Anyway, my anxiety has gotten worse now that I have new found body image issues. I find myself comparing my body, face, clothes, success and perception of happiness to everyone I meet only because I am anxious that those are the things that people will accept me for and not for who I really am.

There's various other issues that come up when living with PCOS as other women will attest to, such as Facial hair, Hair loss, Fatigue, Pelvic Pain and Infertility but I think these five areas are the ones that affect me the most. I hope that this helps to create awareness that I may look fine to you when you meet me, but under the surface there is a lot going on. Be kind to others if they open up to you about their problems because you never know what they are going through.

To my fellow Cysters out there, don't be afraid to share your story with me.

Be strong, keep fighting and ignore the negativity as much as you can. xoxo